All posts filed under: thoughts

a mind split into uncountable fragments, thinking of everything and anything in infinite instances ?

Performing myself, seeking love

Reading Time: 8 minutes Recently, a friend told me that I’m one of those people who are the sum of their interests. Most known for that, at least. A now-dated meme goes something like, “liking X is not a personality trait“, “hating X is not a personality trait“. Liking field recordings, listening to Phoebe Bridgers, not liking the taste of alcohol, not being into crypto––whatever. I see this and spin into a mild (and irrational) existential crisis. What am I but the pieces of the things that have made me? The first theory attributes this all to a modern need for hyperlegibility and the constant entering-exiting of spaces. Write bullet point things about yourself, turn traumas into fuel for scholarship, compress your identity into the palatable. People contain themselves in a bio and highlighted tweet, in bylines and extended “my friend Y said Z acts like…”. The enormity of human experience and desire compacted. Mel Nguyen presents an abundance of questions on this: When are you really saying the things you want to say? When do you engage with …

The saddest designer

Reading Time: 5 minutes When I made a living out of abstraction, I didn’t know that with it would come a universally-mandated detachment from the self and what is loved. To put it more simply: everything I have known about making, I knew mostly from birth. Now I’m being taught that there are these parts of me that must be freed. All I want is to live my truth. Creation is the act or process of bringing something into existence. The Google Card (at least when I look it up) suggests that the closest synonym to be design; the act of conception after the coming of the self is the world’s natural order. After I am made, all I must do is make.All these other things are add-ons, nice-to-haves, far from the key results. When I was growing up and first absorbing the truths of this world (and then later, marking what was ‘truth’ and what was up for debate––the complexity of observation and being), there was nothing more innate to me than production. Mankind lives, so mankind must …

Pyro Is Not Passion: What Vision Discourse Gets Wrong, Ambition, Ideals, and the Heavenly Principles

Reading Time: 20 minutes Sharing a copy of this writeup (another long anime essay) I wrote on the 27th for my site. The full, annotated, and most updated version is part of the Khaenri’ah Lore Project library and can be found in this document. For being written in a few hours, I’m pretty proud of it! It helps that these put together thoughts and bits of evidence I’ve had for a long while. Like everything else under this side project, it won’t make sense if you do not play Genshin Impact… Warning: Uses lines from Inazuma Archon Quest Act I, Inazuma talent books Disclaimer: I’m noob to Confucian theology (not that it’s a huge point here), not 100% sure about the Chinese so pls feel free to correct. <3 Visions and ideals. You’ve probably read about and speculated about this yourself. Each Archon stands for their own ideal, from Venti’s love of freedom as a loafing bard, to the Tsaritsa’s calculating approach to ‘love’ (as speculated by Dainseif’s introduction of her in the Travails). (If you want a refresher …