im probably not good at anything but memorizing song lyrics

it’s scary once they can really be applied to your life

i try and understand experiences and walk in footsteps of people who i have never met, people who ripped out their past for money and fame and an apartment in the middle of the city where they can lie to themselves about what feels like living

i’ll never understand until i experience the words. twist overanalyzed wishes when they were just stories and games

one day i swore id write my own. be a poet for the masses. the song you hum at the corner of the pew while you pretend to believe in all there is

no more sorrys. i understand why people write music. i understand that we are all one and the same.

if you know youre wrong why dont you just say it

and if you want to sing why pretend that you would do it for me

and if on that day the beating sun scorched us and warned me of the months to come, the rust enthralled itself on my knuckles and told me that id cry on the car ride back but its alright. the voices there will tell you you are nothing so often you begin to drown it out. you look past everything but can only look in front of you, your worst fucking habit.

and if on that day i understood, i would have sung a different song. but we are all pieces and fragments. all chances.

ill hear a real voice out there. one day. i havent found mine. its a shame, ive reserved so much love for it.

x

ps i dont blame you for being you but you cant blame me for hating it