I want to do the greatest work of my life.

Many problems entice me across tooling, infrastructures, and social problems – but I keep going back to hypertext, how boring. Truly: We’ve barely began telling stories to each other on the internet. Still, we’ve achieved intimacies and proximities that feel endlessly special. I want to change what it means to write/publish on the internet and make sites (even for a small subset of writers/creatives/extremely online people), and make interfaces so beautiful that they will live in cultural and arts institutions.

I want to work hard, learn voraciously, and flex all these identities and tactics that I’ve long accumulated. These parts of myself I don’t feel are challenged enough.

These days, it is also true that I feel like there is no faith or belief in me. I’m truly struggling in both art, cultural, and technological structures; in every place I’ve ever called home. It’s exhausting and inhibiting to not be able to travel freely, go home as all my loved ones are aging, and to not be able to have the agency to earn and try and be involved — I’m hoping to get out of this situation by the end of 25.

Most days, I’m wondering what the right structure is for me to see the growth and artifacts I want to put out. This wondering includes the more tactical work of attempting to construct this format of many in-betweens that doesn’t quite exist yet.

It is frustrating… how hungry I am, desperate, yet caged…